Clark4Prez

I have a new plan for the middle east that is quite different than anything even I have proposed in the past.

We publish a graphic history of our nation from the time the first Pilgrims landed up until the time we had finally taken all the land we wanted from the Native Americans*. We print it in all of the major dialects and languages of four or five middle eastern trouble spots. Then every day for a month we drop these condensed American Histories all over the middle east. Then we do nothing.

After three months we drop millions more history books. For another month we drop these books, every single day. Twenty-four hours a day, books dropping everywhere. Then we do nothing.

Three months later we sail a fleet of two hundred triple masted schooners into the persian gulf. Each majestic ship loaded with as many men dressed in traditionl pilgrim and puritan attire as the ship can hold. Cannons firing, a public address system booming out in all the languages contained in the book, “See page 17 in your American History Book.”

People would scurry to find their copy of the book. Imagine their shock and horror when they turn to page 17 and find a picture of a typically dressed Puritan.

There would be a mass exodus.

*The Native Americans are now exacting their revenge with casinoes. “Give round eyes more fire water and watch him split kings at the blackjack table”

Don Imus and his producer opened their mouths and let their stupid fall out. Should they have lost their jobs over it? I’m not sure. Mind you what they said was rude, thoughtless, insensitive, and just plain not right. I personally believe he should have been fired long ago just for being a boring monotoned no talent drone, but thats just me. If Chris Rock called the Irish girls rugby team a drunken bunch of rough and tumble red headed harlots would anyone raise an eyebrow? I’m sure the girls would have their feelings hurt, but they would probably just knock back a few pints of Guiness while singing traditional Irish drinking and fighting songs, then rip the guys arm off and beat him with it.

Lets be honest, if stupid were a crime, well lets just say we don’t know what prison overcrowding is compared to what it would be. And Imus got stupid.

Right there in simulcast he opened his mouth and his stupid spewed forth like raw sewage from a drain pipe.

One last thing to ponder: Had Martin Lawrence said the same thing it would have been just as wrong, but would there have been as much backlash?

Anna Nicole Smith is still dead, but at least now we know who dat baby daddy is.

I had to think for a long time before coming up with a title for this particular posting. There were several I liked. It came down to the one I used and “How low have we stooped?” I’m sure by now you’re thinking, “What the hell is he rambling about?” Here it is: When did Sanjay not being voted off of “American Idol” become news? And for that matter who cares that Vince Macmmahon got his head shaved by Donald Trump, or when did Rosie O’Donnel’s opinion on ANYTHING become important, or if Britney Spears is in or out of rehab become important? I have seen stories on all those on legimate news programs. Why?

Have we stooped so low as a society that we feel that kind of crap is newsworthy? Lord, I hope not.

Should that be the case, it is a sad commentary on our society. Are we so desperate for someone else’s life to be more miserable than our’s that it actually matters if Britney Spears recovers or relapses? And as far as Rosie O’Donnel is concerned let me just say this: Rosie O’Donnel was,  in her prime,  (which was, by the way, from 10:19 P.M. until 10: 53 P.M. on September 9, 1996) at the very best, a second rate stand up comic. When and why her opinion on anything became important to anyone is beyond my comprehension. Vince and Donald? Please. The whole “American Idol” thing baffles me, but I do think it would be funny if the kid wins. Maybe we just need a diversion from all of the horrible things we see on the news.

Or maybe it’s like my dad, who was managing editor of “The Daily Register” and taught journalism at Southeastern Illinois College used to say when asked why there was never any good news in the paper….

“Nobody wants to hear that Mrs. Smith’s cat lived”

Clark