Middle East Plan
I have a new plan for the middle east that is quite different than anything even I have proposed in the past.
We publish a graphic history of our nation from the time the first Pilgrims landed up until the time we had finally taken all the land we wanted from the Native Americans*. We print it in all of the major dialects and languages of four or five middle eastern trouble spots. Then every day for a month we drop these condensed American Histories all over the middle east. Then we do nothing.
After three months we drop millions more history books. For another month we drop these books, every single day. Twenty-four hours a day, books dropping everywhere. Then we do nothing.
Three months later we sail a fleet of two hundred triple masted schooners into the persian gulf. Each majestic ship loaded with as many men dressed in traditionl pilgrim and puritan attire as the ship can hold. Cannons firing, a public address system booming out in all the languages contained in the book, “See page 17 in your American History Book.”
People would scurry to find their copy of the book. Imagine their shock and horror when they turn to page 17 and find a picture of a typically dressed Puritan.
There would be a mass exodus.
*The Native Americans are now exacting their revenge with casinoes. “Give round eyes more fire water and watch him split kings at the blackjack table”
