Public Service Announcement
There is a little heard of condition that is affecting millions of baby boomer males and will undoubtedly affect millions more unless something is done about it. For just as gravity (in its relentless quest to bring everything that is up, down) takes hold a woman’s mammary glands and pulls them ever closer to earth as the years go by, so does it take hold of a man’s scrotum. My administration will take immediate steps to make life easier for those men who suffer from this oft times debillitating condition.
One of the first things the Small administration would do would be to enact legislation to raise the minimum clearance from seat to water line on a toilet stool. We Rennesaince Rednecks believe this will help men and women alike.
The benefits to men would be enormous. No more getting up at 4:00 a.m. to get ready to go to work, still feeling warm and cozy from the bed, only to squat and sit on the porcelain throne and being shocked by the sudden sensation of one’s nutsack hitting the icy cold water of the toilet bowl. This gives new meaning to the old joke……”This water’s cold”….”Yeah, deep too”
Although the benefits to women may not be as great, We are sure it will help some. Our plan would surely keep thousnads of nipples off the cold marble tile of the bathroom floor. It is our understanding that grout chafe is quite miserable. This one smiple measure will help relieve the misery of millions of people.
Remember, the Rennesaince Redencks will work to help make this a dryer more comfortable America.
One final thing, if you stop by to read this please take a moment or two to leave a brief comment. Feedback, what little I receive, helps our election commitee to decide what are the “hot button” issues.
Clark, to effectively return our country to the path that it should be on (remember Land of the Free and Home of the Brave) not politically correct, I think all potential political office candidates should have to pass a intelligence test, a honesty test, and above all a moral resistance to PAC money test, so that they can show that they have the best interests of the American people at heart, and not their own futures. I beleive that this testing would eliminate 90 to 95 % of the idiots that are running this country into the ground! I have a theory that our government is beset with the Scourge of Moronism. Your thoughts?
Comment by Harold Tuttle — 7/27/07 @ 8:33 am
Just remember my Triangular Philosophy of Life:
1. People are idiots.
2. This whole Internet thing is just wrong.
3. But it will all smooth out when we get in the new building.
Now there’s a political platform you could do Shakespeare from!
Comment by Jay Small — 7/30/07 @ 11:39 am