One of the first things the Small administration would do would be to enact legislation to raise the minimum clearance from seat to water line on a toilet stool. We Rennesaince Rednecks believe this will help men and women alike.

The benefits to men would be enormous. No more getting up at 4:00 a.m. to get ready to go to work, still feeling warm and cozy from the bed, only to squat and sit on the porcelain throne and being shocked by the sudden sensation of one’s nutsack hitting the icy cold water of the toilet bowl. This gives new meaning to the old joke……”This water’s cold”….”Yeah, deep too”

Although the benefits to women may not be as great, We are sure it will help some. Our plan would surely keep thousnads of nipples off the cold marble tile of the bathroom floor. It is our understanding that grout chafe is quite miserable. This one smiple measure will help relieve the misery of millions of people.

Remember, the Rennesaince Redencks will work to help make this a dryer more comfortable America.

One final thing, if you stop by to read this please take a moment or two to leave a brief comment. Feedback, what little I receive, helps our election commitee to decide what are the “hot button” issues.

Which is why I think cars should be equipped with some sort of close range missle system. That way when some self important-cell phone using-Lexus driving-checking his watch-no driving ass, eases his way into the left turn lane only to stop and wait to merge, thereby cutting off your legal turn, and scratching the side of your ten year old Ford Escort, the offending driver could be vaporized. Score another one for evolution. He needed killin.

If everyone were to take the same no nonsense stand we could possibly wipe out the stupid gene in just a few short generations.

Clark

We publish a graphic history of our nation from the time the first Pilgrims landed up until the time we had finally taken all the land we wanted from the Native Americans*. We print it in all of the major dialects and languages of four or five middle eastern trouble spots. Then every day for a month we drop these condensed American Histories all over the middle east. Then we do nothing.

After three months we drop millions more history books. For another month we drop these books, every single day. Twenty-four hours a day, books dropping everywhere. Then we do nothing.

Three months later we sail a fleet of two hundred triple masted schooners into the persian gulf. Each majestic ship loaded with as many men dressed in traditionl pilgrim and puritan attire as the ship can hold. Cannons firing, a public address system booming out in all the languages contained in the book, “See page 17 in your American History Book.”

People would scurry to find their copy of the book. Imagine their shock and horror when they turn to page 17 and find a picture of a typically dressed Puritan.

There would be a mass exodus.

*The Native Americans are now exacting their revenge with casinoes. “Give round eyes more fire water and watch him split kings at the blackjack table”

Lets be honest, if stupid were a crime, well lets just say we don’t know what prison overcrowding is compared to what it would be. And Imus got stupid.

Right there in simulcast he opened his mouth and his stupid spewed forth like raw sewage from a drain pipe.

One last thing to ponder: Had Martin Lawrence said the same thing it would have been just as wrong, but would there have been as much backlash?