Clark4Prez

Anna Nicole Smith is still dead.

More states are passing stronger anti-smoking laws, this bothers me. I know smoking is bad for me. I know that it is bad for the others around me. Ok, I get the point. And I have no problem with it. I won’t smoke in public. With that being said, I feel it is my duty to bring up another public health issue. Cell phones. I’ve seen reports on the news of studies dealing with the low levels of microwaves or radiation or whatever it is you can’t see but they tell you it is there. These studies suggest that over time this might be bad for us. Which means that it is only a matter of time until they discover that, yep, second hand invisible things are bad for you. Nay! Far worse for you than first hand invisible stuff. As your President I would take immediate steps to halt this impending health disaster.

The way I see it we can either lump cell phones in with all the anti-smoking legislation or we figure out something for everyone. This is a situation where I think seperate but equal is justified. Government buildings would automatically be non-smoking and non-cell phone. Everything else would be determined by the property holder.

There would basically be 4 groups: non smoking cell phone users, smoking cell phone users, non smoking non cell phone users and the last category which, by the way, is where i fit in, smoking non cell phone user. Yes, these would be my people.

In fact, I would be open to legislation making traditional home phones go back to the way they were in the old Andy Griffith shows. You’d pick up the ear piece and depress the hook a few times and you’d hear maybe 6 or 7 people on the line. Ain’t Bee would be cussing Myrtle and her roses, Floyd would be talking to Goober and Earnest T. Bass would be sounding like a pervert in the background not really talking to anybody. In case you have not gathered I don’t like phones much.

I guess they are a necessary evil though, just like cigarettes.

Whoa……whoa. I know there are non smoking cell phone junkies aghast that I compared cigarettes to cell phones as a necessity, but just think about it for a minute. Still don’t think cigarettes are necessary? What tax shall we increase to replace the billions of dollars lost from taxes on cigarettes? What about the tobacco workers and farmers? And, most importantly, what about all the innocent lives that will be lost to maniacal cigarette addicts who just can’t take the withdrawl.

Save the dinosaurs.

Clark